Contracts of Love & Money That Make or Break Relationships | James Sexton

Cultural Norms

Cultural norms significantly shape our perceptions of marriage, often perpetuating outdated traditions. James Sexton highlights how many women, despite being modern and independent, still adhere to customs like taking their husband's last name or having their father "give them away" at weddings 1. These traditions, he argues, are remnants of a time when women were viewed as property. Sexton also discusses the global divorce rates, noting that countries with strong religious narratives tend to have lower rates, while more modern societies experience higher divorce rates 2. He points out that tradition can sometimes act as "peer pressure exerted by dead people," influencing decisions even when they no longer serve a practical purpose.

   

Gender Bias

Gender roles deeply impact perceptions of marriage and divorce, often leading to biased narratives. Sexton explains that societal views on infidelity differ based on gender; men are often labeled negatively, while women are seen as seeking self-discovery 3. This double standard extends to custody battles, where women are expected to fight harder for custody due to societal perceptions of motherhood 4. Sexton notes that despite changes in the legal system, these gendered expectations persist, affecting how individuals navigate divorce and custody issues.

   

Tradition vs. Modernity

The tension between traditional views of marriage and modern realities is evident in how relationships are portrayed and perceived. Sexton discusses how pornography and romantic comedies create unrealistic expectations of relationships, contrasting them with the genuine connection found in real-life partnerships 5. He emphasizes the importance of seeing and accepting partners for who they truly are, rather than idealizing them based on media portrayals 6. This genuine connection, he argues, is what makes relationships truly special and enduring.