How I can talk with my partner? I have a lot of thoughts and I don't know which ones are true to me? I think they are intrusive. I'm thinking a lot of not loving my partner, ruminating and this thoughts bring me a lot of sadness and anxiety. I talked with ker yesterday that I maybe have intrusive thoughts. I cried in her arm. In moment I thought I should feel more grateful for her and I wasn't. I think I should never hurt her, but my future thinking is telling me that I'm not 100% sure, my father wasn't good example and I don't want to copy his moves. I want home full of love, feel ok and treat her like she really deserve. Thoughts that telling me I'm not 100% sure are making me anxious about my feelings for her. Why I'm thinking about not loving? Why when she is so nice and I've had beautiful moments with her. Cooking together, walking around together, new places.

It's understandable to feel overwhelmed by thoughts about your relationship, especially when intrusive thoughts and anxiety arise. Here are some strategies based on insights from recent Huberman Lab discussions:

1. Open Communication: It's essential to talk with your partner about your feelings, including intrusive thoughts. Expressing vulnerability can foster intimacy. Psychotherapist Esther Perel emphasizes the importance of navigating conflict and transforming it into connection, which is vital for a healthy relationship 1.

2. Acknowledge Your Thoughts: Recognize that intrusive thoughts are not always reflective of reality. They can emerge from anxiety or past experiences. Psychiatrist Paul Conti suggests that such thoughts may highlight underlying emotional issues or unresolved trauma that need your attention 2.

3. Self-Reflection: Engage in self-inquiry by asking yourself what triggers these thoughts. Understanding the underlying causes can help you manage anxiety and clarify your feelings. This might involve reflecting on your past and how it shapes your current perception of relationships 2.

4. Physical State and Emotional Clarity: Sometimes, changing your physical state can help in processing emotions more effectively. Perel mentions that engaging in physical movement or structured activities can create a more conducive environment for discussion with your partner, rather than confronting difficult emotions directly 1.

5. Be Kind to Yourself: It's crucial to approach your feelings and thoughts with compassion. Recognizing that relationships naturally go through ups and downs can help you appreciate the beautiful moments you share with your partner, such as cooking and exploring together.

Remember, this journey takes time, and seeking help from a therapist can also provide additional support in navigating these feelings.