How can parents teach emotional regulation?

To teach emotional regulation, parents can use several neuroscience-backed strategies:

1. Use Emotional Thermometers: Tools like Wagner's emotional thermometer can help gauge a child's stress level on a scale from 0 to 10. This allows parents to recognize whether it's a good time to discuss emotions or if the child needs to first calm down. Engaging with a child when they are less emotionally charged (around a 5 or lower) lets them process and express their feelings more effectively 1.

2. Validate Emotions: Children learn to regulate emotions by feeling and validating their feelings. Dr. Becky Kennedy emphasizes that validation coupled with boundaries helps children feel seen and understood, forming a foundation for emotional safety 2.

3. Foster Emotional Awareness: Teaching children to understand their emotions as transient can be powerful. For example, helping them recognize that unpleasant feelings are temporary and do not always need immediate fixing fosters emotional intelligence and resilience 3.

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     Emotional Regulation Tools

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     Boundaries and Connection

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     Emotional Intelligence Insights

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     Emotional Development Insights

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4. Promote Balanced Engagement: Engage children in activities that excite them (activating the dopaminergic system) and in activities that promote pleasure in the present moment (linked to serotonin). This helps build a balanced emotional foundation, supporting both anticipation and contentment in the now 4.

These methods help children develop a toolkit for recognizing, understanding, and regulating their emotions, fostering resilience and psychological well-being.