You’re Missing Out on Better Orgasms (and Sex!) – Here’s Why!

Autonomic System

Understanding the autonomic nervous system is crucial for enhancing sexual pleasure. Elisabeth Gordon explains that the parasympathetic state, or the 'stream and chill' state, is essential for full arousal, while the sympathetic state, or the 'fight, flight, or freeze' state, can hinder it. She emphasizes that focusing on orgasm can create anxiety, which disrupts the parasympathetic state and reduces the quality of sexual experiences 1.

Focusing on an orgasm is the worst thing you can do for the possibility of having an orgasm or to the quality of your orgasm.

--- Elisabeth Gordon

Instead, understanding and managing these physiological states can lead to better sexual experiences.

   

Mindful Arousal

Enhancing the parasympathetic state through mindfulness can significantly improve sexual experiences. Elisabeth Gordon discusses the use of techniques like sensate focus and mindfulness to help individuals concentrate on bodily sensations rather than the pressure to achieve orgasm 2. This approach reduces stress and enhances pleasure, making satisfying orgasms more likely.

The best way to focus and enhance your pleasure is to focus on the sensations.

--- Elisabeth Gordon

Rena Malik adds that societal pressures and expectations can add stress, which is counterproductive to achieving orgasm 2.