How can parents set boundaries during a tantrum?

During a tantrum, hold the limit calmly while making room for the child’s feelings. For example: “I know you’re upset that it’s your sister’s turn to choose the movie. If you keep screaming, I’ll bring you to your room, and I’ll stay with you.” The parent follows through without demanding that the child stop feeling upset; empathy and the boundary work together. 1

• Make the boundary about your action: Say what you will do, rather than relying on the child to comply. 2
• Validate the feeling, not unsafe or unacceptable behavior: Acknowledge the frustration while keeping the limit in place. Children can have their feelings; parents still guide behavior and safety. 3
• Stay warm and steady: Avoid either giving in because the tantrum is intense or responding by simply “laying down the law.” 4