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Published Mar 25, 2020

Part 7: Monica & Jess Love Goblins with Esther Perel

Renowned therapist Esther Perel joins Dax Shepard and Jess for an enlightening exploration of self-discovery, desire, and the intricate dance of love and relationships, offering profound insights into overcoming fear and personal narratives to foster meaningful connections.
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Episode Highlights

  • Understanding Desire

    explores the complexities of desire, distinguishing between active and receptive forms. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and owning one's desires, rather than seeking validation from others. Perel suggests that desire is not spontaneous but cultivated through energy and attention, urging individuals to be present and engaged in their relationships 1 2.

    The first thing about desire and about eroticism is energy. And everybody knows energy that puts you to sleep and energy that wakes you up.

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    shares his personal journey of understanding desire, highlighting the need to own one's wants and to feel desirable from within 3.

       

    Dating Challenges

    Dating presents numerous challenges, often tied to self-worth and societal expectations. recounts a transformative experience of asking someone she thought was "out of her league" on a date, which reshaped her perception of attraction and self-value 4. highlights how framing interactions as dates can lead to self-sabotage through constant self-assessment and fear of rejection 5.

    The fact that you put a frame on a date made you constantly check. How is it going? I hate this. Why am I here?

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    reflects on his past experiences with rejection, illustrating how early narratives can shape one's approach to relationships 6.

       

    Self-Perception

    Self-perception significantly influences romantic pursuits and feelings of desirability. and Jess discuss their contrasting dating histories, revealing how personal narratives impact their romantic lives 7. Perel encourages them to challenge these narratives, suggesting that uncertainty in attraction can be an opportunity for growth 8.

    How do you break someone's patterns of their story about themselves? I tell myself my narratives are so thick.

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    The conversation underscores the importance of breaking unhealthy patterns and embracing vulnerability to foster genuine connections 9.

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